I Will Wait, Lord

I will wait, Lord, for the trial to end;
draw me, blessed Lord to your bleeding
heart, and I will remember your great
love for me. Please, God take from me
these tormenting enemies, do battle
on my behalf, and if not, sweet merciful
Jesus, please show me how to be, please
pardon my iniquity, please give me strength
to endure and make you my all—I am
a worldly, unclean man, please make me
holy, a vessel for useful things, do not
devote me to the fire or to the wilderness
again; please deliver me and make me
slave to some purpose of yours—I deserve
death, desire eternal peace, am zealous for
nothing anymore, am attempting to climb
backward from my body, flesh prison,
God-damned hell capsule,
give me strength, Messiah! Show me
your face again, make me want to live and
live for you! Or make me silent, answer me
with some other kind of nothing and I
will be happy, do not let me speak blasphemy
—rebuke our enemy on my behalf; I am
(never, ever) tired of fighting. Give me
thoughts to think and good desires, Jesus
come quickly, come talk with me, tell
me I’m okay—I drink the elixir of your
blood, terror of the unbeliever, now wash
me clean, quickly; change me, rabbi,
my life is uncertain and dark closes quickly,
I want a place in your kingdom and a seat
at your eternal banquet table—take me from
this deathly mess, this reeking moron’s
merry-go-round—I am ready to be delivered!

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